Brothers First
by Sullen Shadowhawk
Summary: Little oneshot about what the twins have given up for their calling and what sustains them. R/R greatly appreciated!


**Hey guys, couldn't sleep and got an attack of plot bunny whilst listening to music. Here's a little one-shot songfic to hold you over until my tour of SoCal is over. At What Cost? will continue when I return. Hope you guys like this one!**

**A/N on twincest- As a twin, I have an intrinsic aversion to twincesty stories, but even though this one wasn't inteded that way, I don't mind if that's where your mind goes...it fits a little, which is actually sorta funny with Relient K being a Christian band and all...anyway, yeah. :)**

**Usual disclaimers stand, I am not Troy Duffy, and therefore the Manly and Studly (aka Connor and Murphy) MacManus do not belong to me...or I'd be in a highly illegal marriage with them...  
****  
I also don't own the song, it's "Falling Out" by Relient K.**

**"Brothers First"**

_I'm falling out of grace with the world  
__they say I've lost my midas touch  
__what turned to gold now turns to rust  
__I'm falling out of line with all the stars  
__that flood my dreams with their guitars and magazines_

_face down, this carpet tastes like coffee grounds  
__ground into my face now  
__and every angle's covered with just another..._

Sometimes, it seemed like the path they were on was too tough, but then, no one ever said sainthood was easy. Often times, the brothers missed life's little comforts, things they'd virtually forgotten since Rocco died and their father took over. Things like coming home to the same bed every night or being in a relationship instead of adding to the growing collection of one night stands. They knew that wishing for these simple comforts was pointless and impossible, but they couldn't help it. The one thing that made them strong enough to keep up the fight they had anyway. All the really need was each other.

_I'm falling out of style with the current way things are  
__the things that make conforming hard  
__I'm falling out of control and you just can't stop me now  
__I'll fight as long as time allows._

_Face down, this carpet tastes like coffee grounds  
__ground into my face now  
__and every angle's covered with just another bandaid_

Murphy missed McGinty's. He missed Rocco and Doc and the way that Guinness tasted in Southie. Hell, he even missed the shitty loft they'd been so proud of when first they came to the states. He missed familiarity and having time to goof off with Connor. Their da kept them pretty somber, always reminding them of the severity of their calling. But Murphy already knew it was serious. They killed people, for fuck's sake, and they were always on the run. What could be taken less lightly than that? But did that have to mean that on the rare occasion that they felt okay enough to relax, he couldn't have fun with his twin? He didn't think so.

Connor missed his job and his freedom and the smell of pretty girls. He longed for the good old days when a suave smile the the right words in their lilting accents got him and his brother any girl they wanted. He missed being his own boss. He loved his father, but since two had become three, he'd had trouble adjusting to being a subordinate. He fondly remembered the days when he and Murph did whatever the hell they wanted. He missed going to the same church every Sunday, and he missed people who knew his name. He kept all this to himself, though, because he didn't want to make things any harder. Any time one of them got nostalgic, there was Da putting them in their place.

_I'm out here way beyond  
__a shadow of a doubt  
__and I know I'm never falling out(falling out)  
__of favor with you  
__I'm out here way beyond  
__a shadow of a doubt  
__and I know I'm never falling out(falling out)  
__of favor with you._

The life of a saint was not easy. Mercenary angels didn't have all the fun. Sometimes, though, when their da left them alone for weeks on end to conduct personal business, it was almost like old times. They'd find a bar to kill an evening in, getting pissed and having some real laughs, and remember that each kept the other going. Those were the times that, despite the things they'd seen and the people they'd killed, they were brothers again. Brothers first and saints second.

_I wont think twice or even three times  
__about taking a gamble with you  
__cause with my life you have been so kind  
__I take all my comfort from you_

_Face down, this carpet tastes like coffee grounds  
__ground into my face now  
__and every angle's covered with just another bandaid_

_I'm out here way beyond  
__a shadow of a doubt  
__and I know I'm never falling out(falling out)  
__of favor with you  
__I'm out here way beyond  
__a shadow of a doubt  
__and I know I'm never falling out(falling out, falling out)  
__of favor with you._


End file.
